Saturday, May 21, 2011

Remember that one phase?

Well. Another semester of grad school has come to an end. Another 4.0 GPA in the books (bam!). I no longer have to call myself a "first year." I can start to plan all the fun hazing activities for the grad students next year. (Ok. That was a [bad] joke. I would never haze. Well, maybe a scavenger hunt here and there, but never ever spanking or chugging.)
So, about that first year. Well, I have interviewed more "senior citizens" than I ever thought I would (so far only three, but more to come). And I even got asked out to the bars by one of them (Yes, please and thank you!). I also started a Twitter account. And I had never known pressure until I started to think about what my Twitter name should be. I went against "catitudetracy." Talk about regret. I have also been going to the gym a lot recently in preparation for the summer. I know that most people would start the summer routine in, I don't know, before summer gets here. But, I did not. So now is the time to play catch up.

As I roll down to the gym (both literally and figuratively) everyday I have to talk myself out of this just being another phase and convince myself that I am trying to make a real life change. Which- given my track record- is not the truth. I go through phases like it is my job. Another day, another dollar, another phase.

Phase 1: I was going to be a doctor. My grandpa was a doctor. It made sense. Well, then I saw a little TV show called "ER" and realized that I did not like blood. This phase was also before I learned about the MCAT's, cancer, and what med school really required. I should also note that my second greatest fear in life is finding a dead body. This phase might make you think of a scene in "Step Brothers": (I can't find the YouTube clip...)
Nancy: Why is it that Dale never left?
Robert: Well, Dale has always coasted off my accomplishments. I mean, he left college his junior year because he said he wanted to join the family business.
Nancy: But you're a medical doctor.
Robert: Believe me, I've told him that. But he just always says, "It's all about who you know."
I am happy to report for the sake of medical care in our country, this phase is long gone and has yet to return. 

Phase 2: After I got over being a doctor I decided that the next logical step would be to be an actress/dancer/pop singing sensation. I was in sixth grade/junior high/high school drama. I took ballet lessons in 1st grade for one month and everyone wanted to be my partner when we did "run, run, leap." I was also in the Scaly Green Girls (SGG). We performed in not one but two talent shows and wrote our own song. Clearly, this was logical. And I still think that it is.

After seeing Black Swan this dream came back. I got mad hops and can rock the tutu look.

Phase 3: While in Hawaii last summer, we went on a little walk up a small paved hill. I, logically of course, thought, "This is easy breezy. I could easily run a triathlon!" Yeah. A small nature walk on a paved sidewalk at a slight incline started my dream of being an Iron Man. I even looked up some training programs. Phase 3 has since died. And I am still at 30 to 35 minutes on the elliptical.

Phase 4: My current phase is to be a professional antique-er and fill my house with lots of stuff that is old and not worth anything. I will never dust. And I will probably redesign/retile/repaint/re-wallpaper/re-appliance my home in such a way that it will ruin any value that it may or may not have had.

All of these phases were/are unrealistic (each in their own special way), but by golly! I hold onto them like it is the end of the world (not trying to make a Rapture joke). Who knows what phase I will go through when the current one(s) end? Maybe I will decided to start a bed and breakfast (I would call it Catitude Tracy's B&B)? Or become a television producer and re-create the Golden Girls (I would play Blanche, obvs.)? I did watch The Godfather Part II last night and (not lying) did consider what steps I would need to take to become the head of my own family.
Actually. All of these ideas seem to be GREAT. Enter Phase 5? I think so...


  1. I love your phases! My favorite was definitely the marathon phase and I am definitely proud to have been a part of the dancer and musician phase, as an original member of Scaly Green Girls. But phase 4 seems do-able. Just don't start hoarding. I don't want to have to have that difficult conversation with you about cutting down on inventory and you arguing that every antique you have collected is worth a fortune when the right collector comes along. On the other hand, I support the entire progression into hoarding because then we can probably get a tv show involved and once the see us and how awesome we are, they will likely offer us our own full time show and then we can begin phase five together. Which in a way, sort of links back to phase two.

  2. and god dammit. I realized too late again that Matthew's google account was the one signed on to my computer and I just chose to go with it because this comment was even better than the lost comment from when this happened the first time. And that was an exceptionally epic run-on sentence.

  3. I love your blog. It always makes me giggle.