Saturday, May 21, 2011

Remember that one phase?

Well. Another semester of grad school has come to an end. Another 4.0 GPA in the books (bam!). I no longer have to call myself a "first year." I can start to plan all the fun hazing activities for the grad students next year. (Ok. That was a [bad] joke. I would never haze. Well, maybe a scavenger hunt here and there, but never ever spanking or chugging.)
So, about that first year. Well, I have interviewed more "senior citizens" than I ever thought I would (so far only three, but more to come). And I even got asked out to the bars by one of them (Yes, please and thank you!). I also started a Twitter account. And I had never known pressure until I started to think about what my Twitter name should be. I went against "catitudetracy." Talk about regret. I have also been going to the gym a lot recently in preparation for the summer. I know that most people would start the summer routine in, I don't know, before summer gets here. But, I did not. So now is the time to play catch up.

As I roll down to the gym (both literally and figuratively) everyday I have to talk myself out of this just being another phase and convince myself that I am trying to make a real life change. Which- given my track record- is not the truth. I go through phases like it is my job. Another day, another dollar, another phase.

Phase 1: I was going to be a doctor. My grandpa was a doctor. It made sense. Well, then I saw a little TV show called "ER" and realized that I did not like blood. This phase was also before I learned about the MCAT's, cancer, and what med school really required. I should also note that my second greatest fear in life is finding a dead body. This phase might make you think of a scene in "Step Brothers": (I can't find the YouTube clip...)
Nancy: Why is it that Dale never left?
Robert: Well, Dale has always coasted off my accomplishments. I mean, he left college his junior year because he said he wanted to join the family business.
Nancy: But you're a medical doctor.
Robert: Believe me, I've told him that. But he just always says, "It's all about who you know."
I am happy to report for the sake of medical care in our country, this phase is long gone and has yet to return. 

Phase 2: After I got over being a doctor I decided that the next logical step would be to be an actress/dancer/pop singing sensation. I was in sixth grade/junior high/high school drama. I took ballet lessons in 1st grade for one month and everyone wanted to be my partner when we did "run, run, leap." I was also in the Scaly Green Girls (SGG). We performed in not one but two talent shows and wrote our own song. Clearly, this was logical. And I still think that it is.

After seeing Black Swan this dream came back. I got mad hops and can rock the tutu look.

Phase 3: While in Hawaii last summer, we went on a little walk up a small paved hill. I, logically of course, thought, "This is easy breezy. I could easily run a triathlon!" Yeah. A small nature walk on a paved sidewalk at a slight incline started my dream of being an Iron Man. I even looked up some training programs. Phase 3 has since died. And I am still at 30 to 35 minutes on the elliptical.

Phase 4: My current phase is to be a professional antique-er and fill my house with lots of stuff that is old and not worth anything. I will never dust. And I will probably redesign/retile/repaint/re-wallpaper/re-appliance my home in such a way that it will ruin any value that it may or may not have had.

All of these phases were/are unrealistic (each in their own special way), but by golly! I hold onto them like it is the end of the world (not trying to make a Rapture joke). Who knows what phase I will go through when the current one(s) end? Maybe I will decided to start a bed and breakfast (I would call it Catitude Tracy's B&B)? Or become a television producer and re-create the Golden Girls (I would play Blanche, obvs.)? I did watch The Godfather Part II last night and (not lying) did consider what steps I would need to take to become the head of my own family.
Actually. All of these ideas seem to be GREAT. Enter Phase 5? I think so...