Thursday, January 27, 2011

“Why would we put Andrew Jackson on money if he was such an uber-douche?”

I repeat: “Why would we put Andrew Jackson on money if he was such an uber-douche?” Isn’t this a question that we all ask ourselves multiple times daily? No. Oh. Well this was a question that was asked in the class that I TA for. It was a magical moment; one that scares me for the future of our planet.  

Let me set the scene:
North American Indians. Talking about Andrew Jackson and the Indian Removal Policy of the 1830’s. An 8 AM class where the students usually sit quietly, and take detailed notes. Or nap.

Let me give you a cast of characters:
Crazy Annoying Always Talks in Class Girl  (CAATCG): Picture “that girl” in all of your classes and multiply by ten thousand. She always talks. Never raises her hand. And never says anything worth listening to. Also- her boyfriend is Inuit and I think that gives her an odd sense of entitlement. (It also makes me hate my life because she has a boyfriend… but I digress.)
Rodney: The professor. In his 60’s. So innocent and sweet and just the nicest, most caring man that you could ever imagine.  Just loves teaching and gets so excited. Sometimes he calls me Stacey.
Me: The TA. Sitting quietly in the corner of the room taking notes so that if a student comes to me and asks for help I might be able to have a faint idea of what I am talking about.
The Girl Behind Me: A girl. That sits behind me in class.
The Rest of the Class: The other poor schmucks that had to sign up to take an 8AM class.

Act I, Scene 1: (Some of this is paraphrased…)
Rodney: And Andrew Jackson was one of the only presidents who didn’t follow the ruling of the Supreme Court when he ordered that the Cherokee to march the Trail of Tears.
CAATCG: [Does not raise her hand. She just speaks up.] Why would we put Andrew Jackson on money if he was such an uber-douche?
[The class gasps. Everyone looks at each other in awe. “Did that just happen?” is uttered by several, including myself.]
Rodney: I am sorry. What?
CAATCG: Why would we put Andrew Jackson on money if he was such an uber-douche?
Rodney: A what?
CAATCG: A super douche bag.
Rodney: Well. I taught you guys a new term today and you taught me something. [Clearly wants to move on because he does not understand our generations way of using the phrase “douche bag.”]
CAATCG: [Refusing to let this ridiculous comment go.] I mean. We put good presidents on money. George Washington was like the founder of our country. Abe Lincoln freed the slaves. Ben Franklin…
Girl Behind Me: Wasn’t president.
Me: [LOLing] Thank you for saying that. We were all thinking it. 

And that is all Shakespeare wrote. As I read back through this, maybe this was a moment that you had to be there for. But I hope that everyone can appreciate a moment that involves using the phrasing "uber douche" in front of an entire class and professor while referring to Native American/Federal Government policies through out history. 

(Young) Andrew "Uber Douche" Jackson

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Eminem made a comeback. And so am I!

I finished a whole semester of Grad School (and did I mention with straight A's?). Was it hard? Not really. Was it tedious? Yeppers. Did I learn a lot of new things? YOU BETCHA! And I made it the whole semester without blogging. Which probably affected no one, and greatly contributed to me getting respectable grades. 

There were a lot of highlights, but seeing as my mind was shut off for four weeks of winter break, and I have totally adapted to Spring Semester, I am only going to be able to remember the real good moments of fall semester and leave the rest behind. 

- On the FIRST DAY of Grad School (aka the first day of the most amazing new and life changing experience... the first day that I was going to become a new and more academic person) I tripped while trying to get out of the wrong classroom. This is a moment that I will NEVER forget. I was in the Law School (a place that I later learned I NEVER BELONG IN AGAIN) and I thought that my Native American Law class was in Room 103. I realized that it was not when all the people around me started to pull out books on something called "Torts" and that their books were red while mine was gray. While walking to the front of the classroom to ask the Professor where the F I was, a step came out of nowhere... and Grad School started off on the right foot. 

- I learned that Applebee's has karaoke on Friday nights. And that people actually name their children Lester. 

-I wrote some pretty great papers. I read some pretty eye opening books. 

-But the thing that will forever stick with me. The thing that I will tell my grandkids when they ask me about my Grad School days is this... One day. A sunny day. During the second week of school. I was sitting outside waiting for the class that I TA to start. I was reading Push (which inspired the movie "Precious. Based on the Novel 'Push' by Saphire"). And then a nice gentleman came and sat next to me. He pulled out his cellphone and placed a call. Now. I was trying to mind my own business, but I couldn't help to overhear parts. Mainly this part. “Girls be trippin’. They lick the balls, but don’t suck it.” It was at this exact moment that I knew I had come to right school and that I was in a for a semester I would never forget. 

As it turns out, I forgot most of it. But not that part. So. Thank you, sir. Not only did you teach me something that I did not know about my gender, but you gave me a moment to remember. A scarring moment to remember