Thursday, January 27, 2011

“Why would we put Andrew Jackson on money if he was such an uber-douche?”

I repeat: “Why would we put Andrew Jackson on money if he was such an uber-douche?” Isn’t this a question that we all ask ourselves multiple times daily? No. Oh. Well this was a question that was asked in the class that I TA for. It was a magical moment; one that scares me for the future of our planet.  

Let me set the scene:
North American Indians. Talking about Andrew Jackson and the Indian Removal Policy of the 1830’s. An 8 AM class where the students usually sit quietly, and take detailed notes. Or nap.

Let me give you a cast of characters:
Crazy Annoying Always Talks in Class Girl  (CAATCG): Picture “that girl” in all of your classes and multiply by ten thousand. She always talks. Never raises her hand. And never says anything worth listening to. Also- her boyfriend is Inuit and I think that gives her an odd sense of entitlement. (It also makes me hate my life because she has a boyfriend… but I digress.)
Rodney: The professor. In his 60’s. So innocent and sweet and just the nicest, most caring man that you could ever imagine.  Just loves teaching and gets so excited. Sometimes he calls me Stacey.
Me: The TA. Sitting quietly in the corner of the room taking notes so that if a student comes to me and asks for help I might be able to have a faint idea of what I am talking about.
The Girl Behind Me: A girl. That sits behind me in class.
The Rest of the Class: The other poor schmucks that had to sign up to take an 8AM class.

Act I, Scene 1: (Some of this is paraphrased…)
Rodney: And Andrew Jackson was one of the only presidents who didn’t follow the ruling of the Supreme Court when he ordered that the Cherokee to march the Trail of Tears.
CAATCG: [Does not raise her hand. She just speaks up.] Why would we put Andrew Jackson on money if he was such an uber-douche?
[The class gasps. Everyone looks at each other in awe. “Did that just happen?” is uttered by several, including myself.]
Rodney: I am sorry. What?
CAATCG: Why would we put Andrew Jackson on money if he was such an uber-douche?
Rodney: A what?
CAATCG: A super douche bag.
Rodney: Well. I taught you guys a new term today and you taught me something. [Clearly wants to move on because he does not understand our generations way of using the phrase “douche bag.”]
CAATCG: [Refusing to let this ridiculous comment go.] I mean. We put good presidents on money. George Washington was like the founder of our country. Abe Lincoln freed the slaves. Ben Franklin…
Girl Behind Me: Wasn’t president.
Me: [LOLing] Thank you for saying that. We were all thinking it. 

And that is all Shakespeare wrote. As I read back through this, maybe this was a moment that you had to be there for. But I hope that everyone can appreciate a moment that involves using the phrasing "uber douche" in front of an entire class and professor while referring to Native American/Federal Government policies through out history. 

(Young) Andrew "Uber Douche" Jackson


  1. First we put uber-douche presidents like Jackson on currency and the next thing you know Clinton is on the penny...or maybe he will take over "the Benjamins" and we will have to call them "the Bills". Regardless, I hope that a cigar is involved.
    I wish that I was there, because while the moment is epic when written out as a script, it would be more epic in person. I would have been saying, "what the f***", despite my New Years Resolution to say the F-word less often, which I might amend to just only saying when it is appropriate, because sometimes there is just no other word that can be used.
    I hope that you appreciate the ridic comments that I leave on your blog, because they probably make everyone else that reads your blog think that I am an uber-douche, or an uber-idiot.

  2. But he *was* an uber-douche!